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Goals are the Fuel for Life
I had a friend who just returned from Hawaii and he shared with me the 10
Hawaiian rules to live by:
1 - Never judge a day by the weather.
2 - No rain-- no rainbows.
3 - Always tell the truth-- there's less to remember.
4 - Speak softly and wear a loud shirt. (Sounds like a Hawaiian)
5 - Goals are deceptive-- the unaimed arrow never misses.
6 - He who dies with the most toys-- still dies.
7 - Age is relative-- when you're over the hill, you pick up speed.
8 - There are 2 ways to be rich-- make more, or desire less.
9 - Beauty is internal-- looks mean nothing.
10 - The best things in life aren't things.
There are some good rules in there, but #5-- the unaimed arrow never misses.
Well it never hits anything either. You've got to have those goals.
"One ship sails east, one ship sails west, regardless of
the wind that blows.
It is the set of the sail, not the gale that determines
where we go"
I was particularly fascinated with Scott Peck’s book "A World Waiting
to be Born". In it he describes physical health as a process. We creatures
are always being subjected to little nicks and bruises, pimples and bug bites
and besieged by hordes of alien bacteria and viruses. Some part of us is always
in the process of healing, consequently the condition of health is not a static
state of perfect wellness. It is among other things, a condition of ongoing
healing. Physicians are increasingly coming to think that most disease may best
be defined as a failure of the healing process. The point that health is not so
much the absence of disease as it is the presence of an optimal healing process
is crucial for understanding our lives. He said this is crucial because the
principle applies not only to our physical health but also to our mental health,
and the health of our institutions and our organizations.
Since we can not define disease as the presence of pain, so we can not define
health as the absence of disease . Simply, health is an ongoing process of
becoming the most that we can be. The words health and healing come from the
same Anglo-Saxon root to be whole or holy. Becoming the most that we can be is
also the definition of salvation. The term literately means healing. Just as we
apply a salve to the skin to heal it, so we can learn to apply the principles of
mental health to our lives to heal, to make us whole, to save our souls.
(My comments to Peck) I believe that is the purpose of mankind-- to grow, to
become the most that we can be, and this comes from the process of striving for
a goal. Is that not the purpose of an infant? To just grow physically and
mentally, and not be burdened by the cares and worries of an adult. Of course.
It is also the purpose of an adult. We may stop growing physically at one point
but we are never to stop growing mentally or spiritually. It has been said that
if you are not growing you are dying. The mind is a goal-striving machine. It
does not decipher the difference between perception or reality. It has no bias
to succeed or fail. It understands no limits, but acts upon what we tell it or
how it is programmed. One of the fundamental principles of success is the
clarity of a goal. To program the conscious and subconscious mind is a powerful
thing and I feel it is one of the most neglected tools in our journey of growth.
Goals equip us to overcome the obstacles or that pull of life that seems to want
to drag us down and prevent us from fulfilling our true human potential. How
much pain and suffering could be prevented if we were to learn the basic
principles and life skills. The art of setting goals is one of the foundational
principles that so few of us learn, a skill that is rarely taught and used in
becoming the most that we can be.
Peck continues to say that psychotherapy would be the easiest profession and
most enjoyable if it were not for a single reality. Resistance-- the resistance
to change. I sense this to be accurate, for as he said, many people enter
psycho- therapy desiring change, and then as soon as therapy starts they act as
if it is the last thing in the world they want to do. Though this may be true, I
do not feel that people resist change because that is exactly what growth is,
continuous change. Business guru Peter Senge said it more accurately,
"People don’t resist change, they resist being changed" or as
another man said "I love to learn. I just don’t like being taught".
This resistance comes from the uncertainty of what lies ahead. If a goal is
properly set, it lays out a plan of activities to achieve the desired result.
When a plan is well-defined, then we are able to see the future and usually the
result is motivation and excitement to press ahead and change. A goal gives us
the ability to borrow from the future to act in the present. As the quote goes
"Where there is no hope for the future, there is no power for the
present." A well-detailed plan which is the critical part of proper goal
setting helps us to see a future that compels us forward.
In "Man’s Search for Meaning" (p.115/116) according to
logotherapy we can discover the meaning of life in three different ways:
1) by creating work or doing a deed.
2) by experiencing something or encountering someone, ultimately love.
3) by the attitude we take in unavoidable suffering.
I feel strongly about this understanding, because it is practical, and down
to earth and everybody experiences this. One problem I see, is too many people
seek purpose and meaning in subjects that are too big, too deep, too
multi-dimensional and too paradoxical to find a suitable answer. Subjects like
God, prayer and many of the psychological struggles that people have. In these
cases, the best thing is to persevere along the process of growth and
understanding for which goals are the best vehicle. Many of us miss the
practical things like a goal that can provide purpose, meaning and direction for
one's life. The fiction book, Celestine Prophecy, has some good advice when a
priest advised a man that "the problem in life isn’t finding the right
answer but identifying our current questions." Most people never become
true individuals able to fully think for themselves. Carl Jung labeled the
process individuation and claimed it to be the very goal of psychological
development. It is a goal most of us never fully reach, because most of us never
really have that goal anyway. I call this personal development which is the
maturing of an individual. It is the raising our level of awareness. (Quote)
Albert Einstein, "Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness
that created them" Personal development is the vehicle and setting the goal
is the fuel.
Part of my daily routine allows me the opportunity to listen to Dr. Laura and
Dr. Joy Brown, the 2 very popular radio psychologists. Most of the calls are
from people who have a lack of clarity of what they want, which leads them to
act on feelings instead of objective reality, which a little thought on paper
would solve. Often they are advised to see a professional counselor. I think to
myself, they don’t need a counselor. They need to sit down with my goal
planner which will clearly answer 90% of their problems and the rest can be
worked out with a professional therapist. I do not believe a good therapist
wants to waste valuable time with a person that doesn’t have a clue what they
want.
In "Man's Search for Meaning, an Introduction to Logotherapy" by
Viktor E. Frankl, I was most impressed when I began to study his suggestion that
the search for meaning is the primary motivation in man's life. For life to be
rewarding and fulfilling it must have purpose and meaning. To have purpose and
meaning we must have direction. We must have goals. Frankl quoted Fredrick
Nietzsche: "He who has a why to live can bear almost any how" Part one
goes through life in a concentration camp with the personal experiences and
effects on the human mind in such a situation. (Auschwitz, Dachau) Dr. Frankl
spoke about finding meaning in such horrible conditions. Later (Page 80/81) he
began to see that those who could not get past the external circumstances and
use this time as an opportunity to grow spiritually and beyond one's self and
develop inner strength, to those that closed their eyes and dwelt on the past,
life became meaningless. He went on to talk about the inner strength one could
have by pointing out to him a future goal and made note "It is peculiar
that man can only live by looking to the future." This is why I choose the
title of this talk, "Where there is no vision the people perish." We
have got to have those goals.
My personal story:
After 4 years of being fully committed to a leading mainstream church here in
the lower mainland, I began to question the mindset that didn't permit
questions, and began an in-depth study of Judaism and Catholic thinking and
beliefs. As I listened to several rabbis and theologians, I believed what they
said and after several days and much frustration, I threw the books aside and
cried out, if theologians can’t agree where does it leave someone like myself.
I looked up at my mission statement and reflected on the goals that created it
and felt a sense of peace as I said to myself "Its okay" I have
purpose, meaning and direction for my life and I can continue to struggle
through this process of growth and understanding. (Page 111/112) Frankl tells us
problems with boredom, using the term existential vacuum, is causing more
problems than stress. Not knowing what to do with spare time leads many to
sexual immorality, depression, aggression, addiction and many traces of suicide
can be traced back to this phenomenon. "An idle mind is the devils work
shop!" is an old saying.
Personally, I have never met a man or woman who struggled with purpose and
meaning, that had clear defined goals. Goals are the fundamental life skill that
fewer than 90% of the population posses.
In closing I would like to suggest that much of this talk referred to
principles such as: growth as a process, becoming whole or holy, becoming the
most that we can be, internal programming, idea of a clear vision, the negative
implications of idleness-- to which goals are the answer. In my experience it is
a lack of direction that cause most of the problems and prevent the healing that
many so desperately need. Too many people try to go forward looking in the
rearview mirror, which causes such slow growth and a crash at every corner, and
which causes people to give up, and feel their problem is too big or too complex
to resolve.
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